Skinny, that is what I was called all my life…well…actually, most of my life. And now – it is just the opposite!!! I am not obese, but I am not thin either. What is worse, I am disproportionate! My upper body is too heavy while my hands and legs are scrawny. I know I need to exercise and shed some pounds but just cannot get into the groove.
I will soon be that dreaded age when mid-life crisis can strike at any time. I have to get fit. I have to be healthy. How do I do this? I know a lot of you are exactly in the same position as me. We want to be thin again and more importantly, we want to be healthy again but are unable to do it because of so many different reasons. This will be my space to document my journey towards a better and healthier me. How many of you are with me???? This is my first entry. I’m sure there will be many more. There will be many Ups and Downs in my adventure. But I will do this. I promise.
The Story…from the beginning
I was born premature, barely 4 pounds in weight and almost a month early in the small town of Ranchi, in the state of Bihar (now Jharkhand) in India. My mother tells me that I reminded her of a rat the first time she laid eyes on me. As was the norm back in the day, I was fed to the hilt, and by the time I was one, I was healthy and chubby. I was an active kid. Always jumping and running around. I was a climber. My mother tells me horror stories about me climbing over fences and getting into neighbors’ houses. By the time it was time for me to go to Elementary School, I was skinny…very skinny. No matter what I ate, I would not put on weight. Some of our not so kind relatives even told my parents that I might have some kind of deficiency or disease that they should take me to the doctor. Of course, we didn’t go to the doctor.
Growing up, I never had a weight issue. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted…without giving a second thought about what was going into my body. I wore whatever was in fashion. I never thought I could “look bad” in anything as I was thin. Dance was my passion. I would read voraciously and dance passionately. These two things kept me going through school and college. Even after the untimely demise of my father, which happened when I was in high school. Dance, books and a few good friends helped me through tough times. Again, food was never an issue. I was thin thus I was healthy. I started working as a reporter at a magazine. My job required a lot of travel within the city. I walked – a lot, travelled by public transport and generally was active (by default)
Bottomline – I was SKINNY for as long as I can remember. But today when I look in the mirror, the person staring back at me is big. How did that happen? How did the skinny girl become this big?
The Change
The one milestone that changed all of that was marriage and moving to a new country. Moving to America suddenly seemed to slow down my metabolism. I was slowly but steadily gaining weight (without knowing it). I know it now when I look at the pictures from back then. At the time, I was newly married. Trying to impress the husband and all around with my culinary skills. I would be in the kitchen all the time cooking Indian delicacies, which are both high in carbs and fat. I stopped dancing. I was hopping into a car even for groceries. I was so intent on being a good wife and trying to adjust to my new environment that I did not realize how unhealthy my lifestyle had become. Second milestone – getting pregnant and having a baby. Fortunately, morning sickness and nausea plagued me during most of my pregnancy. Only fruits and yogurt didn’t make me sick. This saved me from gaining a whole lot of weight.
But after my son was born things started changing. To put it in simple words – I got lazy. Sleepless nights and never ending baby chores just pushed me towards eating junk. I would eat whatever I could find my hands on. My lunch could actually be a big bag of potato chips. Thinking back, I know I made some very bad choices, but at the time, I couldn’t care less. I was tired all the time and eating healthy or exercising was way low on my priority list. Getting a hyperactive child to eat, bathe and sleep took up most of my time. The husband was not around. His job entailed travel so I was on my own a lot. Entering the kitchen to cook was a thing of the past. I only went to the kitchen to heat up milk or prepare food for the baby. Even on days that I had the energy to go out for a walk, I couldn’t. Either the baby was sleeping or the husband wanted to do something else.
So many of us are in this trap of trying to prove that we are good wives and good mothers that we forget about ourselves. This is how we have been brought up – to take care of our family first and then ourselves…an archetypal attitude ingrained in all Indian females – no matter how educated we are or how much we earn. But this topic demands a discussion of its own (which I will delve into in another blog, on another day).
The end result of the above was that there was literally zero physical activity in my life. No! I do not blame anyone for it but ME. I could have made a change any time I wanted to. I was indolent and too caught up with other (supposedly) more important things than taking care of my own self. Many years later, when I look at my pictures I feel that there is something wrong with the camera. Many questions come to mind such as “Is that my waistline? so large?” Or – “I don’t have a double chin, do I?” Or – “What is that bulging out in so unseemly a fashion? Is that my belly?” The answers to all of the above questions are the same YES. This is YOU.
I still ignored my ever-increasing insalubrious lifestyle and continued chugging along with life. Until, one day I got a call from the doctor’s office and was told to go on statins to lower cholesterol. The dosage I got prescribed was actually higher than what my sixty plus father-in-law took for his cholesterol problem. I did try to crash diet three years back. My brother in law was getting married and I had to look presentable in the wedding pictures. I did lose about 10 pounds. But I gained the pounds (and more) right back in half the amount of time that I took to lose them. This was unsustainable.
Realization strikes
My second jolt came when I met a woman more than 15 years older than me running the marathon. She had started running late in life but was fitter, healthier and happier than I ever was. She was an inspiration. Every time she would post the number of miles she ran that day on her Facebook page my heart would sink. I felt ashamed and small. Then, I decided to take my health in my own hands. If she can do it, so can I. I have to do something that I can uphold for the rest of my active life. I cannot put everything that comes my way in my mouth. I cannot eat three helpings of rice just because I’m craving it. I cannot lounge around in the house and read a book all day just because I feel like it. Things have to change. I have to change. Are you with me on this journey of change?
lopastuff.com 
Didn’t know you loved books, didn’t know you were a journalist!!!
Love your blog!!!! Can’t wait for the next post.
Nilu
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Thanks Nilu! I’m so glad you liked reading what I wrote. It has taken a lot to publish all of this! I intend to make it interesting…Please do follow the blog to get immediate updates. Thanks for you support. Love u!
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You write well!!!! Cannot wait to read more.
You are an inspiration to me, through your dance and your love of books and writing.
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well written
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Really a fun read lopa!! Can’t wait to read more!!
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Great going Lopa!!!! Knowing yourself late or early in life doesn’t matter. What matters is you are trying to work towards it. I m always there to support you. Keep it up. Keep posting your pics too so we can see the change 😊😊😊
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Very nice Lopa!! I have known you since Anand Shankar Academy of Creative dancing Days!! Life will bring changes as we age… not only Physical but Emotional and Spiritual as well!! The key is to be Happy and be confident of who and what you are!! Feeling fit and looking good gives me confidence and somehow that has kept me going after the Marriage and the Baby too. Dance is my passion and going to Zumba workout somehow gave me that zest in Life to keep fit!! Do find one thing that you enjoy the most and follow it and make it a habit !! You have it in you Lopa …just follow your heart and do not give up!! Lots of love
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Thanks Bhavna, I loved how you equated physical health with emotional health. The mind and body are very much connected. My endeavor is – a healthy body and hopefully that will lead to mental and spiritual health as well.
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Lopa I just loved it ..it seemed like I was watching a movie. ..could literally picturize u growing up , getting skinny , then gaining weight n t hen getting slimmer again ..as if I was there with you in your journey . And it really felt as if I was reading my own story .
Very inspiring and very well written .Congratulations dear and will follow your blog for sure .Waiting for more and more of your blogs. All the best .
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Thanks Sheetal….If I can do it…anyone can. I’m sure you can too…once the girls are a little older 🙂
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Very well written … We all relate to it …. !!!! Waiting to know how you lost it all !!
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congratulations! On the blog Lopa. If it helps any bit, I’m in the same health boat as you, and have yet to take those baby steps. I am with you on your journey ! 👍
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Thanks Radhika! I was and am the laziest person around. Never ever exercised in my life. It took a lot for me to start. To tell you the truth it is a struggle every day to keep myself motivated. I think I might do a post on just that – where to begin and how to keep at it. Radhika – It is a positive sign that you are thinking about it. All you need to do is start! I will be with you…literally…any help I can give!!
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Great mam , luv ur blog it is very motivating for me , keep going !!!!! Well done.
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Dearest Lopa,
I am so glad you are on the path of a healthy lifestyle. But all the description of your weight is not how I ever saw you. I always saw you as a slim girl..really.
But your experiences totally resonates, very similar feeling on my end too..
To think we know each other for a decade and I still learned something new about you from your blog like your career before you came to the US..
Keep writing and keep running..
Wish you the best for everything, always.
Love
Smita
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Thanks Smita, It is funny how you still refer to me as “girl” 🙂 I am a girl no longer….
I need your support on this endeavor!
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Very inspiring piece! The keyword is being healthy….many of us may not be obese or fat but majority of us Indian women do not value the importance of eating right & excersing regularly. I myself am a culprit & have zillions of excuses for not doing it right! So I look forward to your blogs to motivate me:)
I have vivid memories of the SKINNY Lopa…it won’t be long before you are back in shape! We are in this journey together.
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Thanks a ton Archita!!! I remember our skinny days…we would eat whatever we wanted…without even thinking. But you are absolutely right…the key word is indeed HEALTH. Hoping achieve a healthy body and mind….need your encouragement and support
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Lovely Lopa… Very impressed….Love it….Can’t wait to read more!!
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Hey good one lopa! But you know the real reason you gained weight? Must have been the kashmiri delicacies you were fed or learnt to cook after marriage! I know what will it takes to keep away from them! 😉 . All the best with the blogging!
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Very nice write up! Simple and straight from the heart . Good luck on your journey and may it inspire all the readers.
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Hi Lopa – I wrote a long note for you, and in the transition of entering credentials, it transitioned me to WordPress, and all disappeared. My wife may face some nuggets to share for possible assistance. If you like, you may reach her at pamela.koul@gmail.com. She does not have FB account. Bye, ajay
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Awesome write-up Lopa! I’m with you on this journey! I badly needed an inspiration and I think I found one in YOU!
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Very nicely written Lopa, kept my interest through. You are multi talented! Health is so important. You have to be selfish to set it right. I believe I can be a better mom, friend, etc if I’m healthy and happy; so I make myself a priority as well in my schedule 🙂 I would be be following your journey. Good luck.
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Very well written. Keep up the good work, in fact write a book, you will be an excellent author.
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Thanks papa!
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Very well written Lopa. I guess many of us realise how our changing livestype impact our health however few are those who start to walk towards a path of bringing in a change by breaking monotony and lethargy..You are not just walking but running all the way to success and thanks for sharing your journey in the most inspiring way possible. .waiting for more interesting stuff up here…
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Chunmun I liked your blog very much. Whatever you expressed is not anything unusual or new. We all went through the same feeling and experience at that age, only the difference is your generation has the will ang courage to take action. We at our time was so busy either looking after the house or children that we never did look at ourselves or was not so aware about our health. We all were skinny and beautiful when we were young but that changes after childbirth and we become so busy bringing up our children that we forget ourselves. Maybe this has something to do with our culture and what our moms taught us. But I am happy that you have started looking after your health in terms of exercising, eating healthy food etc. to keep yourself fit . This is a good blog where all your friends can discuss there various problems and experiences which in turn will benefit all. Keep it up …….
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Thanks Ma!
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Very interesting and inspiring blog Lopa…really you are a multitalented girl !!! Keep it up child…..all the very best .
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